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Modesty
Old Mr. Webster defines modesty as: 1 : freedom from conceit or vanity 2 : propriety in dress, speech, or conduct
Being modest is something that has been in decline and slowly lost in our society. Being modest does not mean you have to 'Be a Prude' or even act like a 'Doormat'. I think it means that you have to respect yourself and the others around you.
Have you ever thought about it? Could it be that you're outspoken because you want or need attention? Do you accept yourself?
Besides love, everyone wants and needs to feel accepted. When we don't feel accepted, we change our behavior.
Watch yourself and what you say. Words have a way of being percieved one way, when what you meant was something totally different. Sometimes it's easy to burst out with words that come back to bite you.
Think before you speak. Remember God gave you two ears and one tongue so that you can listen twice as much as you speak. I often find that not saying anything and letting others guess what you're thinking can be much more fun.
Make sure to choose your words carefully. Be careful that what you are saying is respectful to yourself and the others around you. This takes time and practice. Be patient. With a little practice, biting your tongue and realizing that what you have to say doesn't really need to be said... You'll be a different person In no time.
When you speak to others with respect, they'll here gratitude in your words. This alone, will draw others into you, allowing you to develop closer and long lasting relationships with the people around you. These relationships will be the foundation of a life full of joy.
I've often heard Zig talk of Mary K, the cosmetics lady. He talks of how she made you feel like you were the most important person in the room. I had this happen to me.
I was giving a presentation to the Sprint Management team. When I finished, the President of Sprint left the room full of people and walked me out to the elevator. She then waited with me. Personally thanking me for my time. This little "extra mile" is still remembered by me 12 years later. That lesson of how to treat others and make them feel special is something I'll never forget.
And What did it cost?
A few minutes of her time.
Surround yourself with friends whom you can be yourself with. This doesn't mean dump your whole crowd of friends, but maybe find a couple of people to be with that you notice acting the way you'd like to act. Pick your friends that challenge you to be a better friend.
Accept and love yourself. You are beautiful and acceptable just as you are, because you are human like the rest of us. You don't have to be super-sexy, always available to flirt, open to anyone that wants to play with you. You can hold back a bit, play your cards well, and save yourself (physically and emotionally) for someone who really and sincerely matters to you and respects you. They will appreciate it greatly.
Talk to your best friend. Ask them to keep you in check, hold you accountable and correct you privately when you get out of line.
Remember... You've got to be patient. It's hard to change old habits. This didn't happen over night and it won't change over night. The reward for being modest will be that when you do talk, other people will listen. Your words will carry more weight with those people you surround yourself with. Then it will be even more important to select your words even more carefully.
I think that you'll find if you respect everyone you meet, everyone you meet... Will treat you with respect. There you have it!
©2007 Tim Levin
